Gait analysis is scheduled for Thursday morning. It should be interesting.

I am...

-eager to start my research.
-not quite ready for school to start again even though I really want to met my new students.
-proud of my children.
-quite proud to be Finnish.
-always surprised when people like me.
-still rather shy.
-pretty comfortable in front of a crowd, however.
-really a BIG fan of iTunes.
-missing physical activity.
-fat.
-neglecting my homework.
-wondering if I'll ever run more than a 10k ever again.
-realizing my mortality.
-craving carrot cake.
-thinking about buying a uke.
-sick of having my house on the market.
- a book slut.
-writing something every evening and then deleting it.
-drawing daily (almost).
-really good at make a short story long.

Anybody want to buy my house?

Now we're getting somewhere

The Podiatrist was a really nice guy. He started putting pieces together for me. Apparently I have flexible flat feet and something called equinus. In the end, this means orthotics. BUT, he's not just gonna slap some orthotics on my feet and call it good. He's going to wait until I have my video gait analysis done in August and use the pinpoint measurements that they come up with. I also have an unusual body tilt. My right shoulder is higher than my left and it comes forward farther than my left one does. Huh? I always knew I was defective...

Anyway, it's really good to be getting down to the bottom of this things. One other thing, he mentioned that I have really tight ankles, knees, and hips. Why was a Podiatrist checking out my hips? That probably explains the soft music, wine, and the flowers in the examining room...

One other thing. He looked at my shoes. He said they were perfect for me I just need beefed up support from some orthotics

I'm not a SMALL runner...

See that leg? The one holding my entire body weight? Yeah, um, about an inch up from my sock is where my latest stress fracture is.

Oh yeah...they're gonna do a bone density scan too.

The Doctor says...

I saw the bone doctor yesterday. Actually, I saw the bone doctor's PA. I have an appointment with a podiatrist on Monday and am scheduled for some blood work too. When I'm allowed to, these guys are gonna get me up in front of a video camera and do a gait analysis as well. Then we'll see what's going on with me bio-mechanically. I asked about doing the marathon if I keep my fitness up. He said he couldn't stop me but it might make more sense to get to the bottom of the stress fracture(s) issue before I start running long distances again. He encouraged me to continue riding and to get back in the pool as much as I wanted to.
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I often wonder what the value of a blog is if nobody reads it.

Today's Picture

At the park

Today exercise was play. I took my youngest two critters (children) to a local park. We tossed our bikes in the back of the van with the idea that we would ride part of the Kent Trail. I threw some juice and water in a cooler along with our helmets in the back just beneath the tires of the bikes. We could not have had a better time. My son loved the hills. It was fun to watch him work to climb them and listen to him whoop with delight as he zoomed down them. My four year old giggled over every bump in the trail as she rode along behind me. The kids wanted to take a play break so I sipped a water and read my book while they took turns climbing, jumping, and sliding on the play equipment at the park. After a while they coaxed my book out of hands and I pushed them on the swings. We hopped on our bikes again for about 15 minutes before calling it an afternoon. My son wants to go back again tomorrow...
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My two oldest girls are at Girl Scout Camp until Friday and I miss them.

They'll probably fight with each other all the way home.

They're sisters. That's what they do.

I took a few photos...

It's still not as interesting as writing about running...

Pretending to Wrench

I "wrenched" the family bikes today. Nothing big. I fixed flats, cleaned chains, lubed stuff. My son thought it was cool. I'm not the best when it comes to "fixing" stuff. I also took a short spin on my hybrid. My four year old was on the back so I didn't even leave the neighborhood. She had a blast anyway. As for me, it felt really good just to be moving and it didn't bother my leg in the least.
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I heard my son sneak out of his room this morning. Noises in the kitchen had me suspecting that he was fixing his own breakfast cereal. It wasn't long before he came into the bedroom with a tray full of food and a big smile on his face. He had decided to make my wife and me breakfast in bed. What did he bring us? Two bowls of Rice Krispies, two slices of apple pie, and two ice cold bottles of beer.

BEER?

Yes, beer.

I don't think I have ever had beer for breakfast.

He was so proud of himself. I'm not sure but I suspect the breakfast was his way of saying, "Thanks" for taking him and his sisters to a minor league baseball game the night before.

BTW - I ate everything but I put the beer back in the fridge.

The big news of the day is that I get to visit an orthopedic surgeon next week. Who said summer isn't fun?
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I was watching triathlon and swimming videos on YouTube last night. I'd like to turn myself into that kind of athlete. (Actually, the uninjured kind of athlete would suit me just fine too...)
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This is an opportunity. Yes it is. It's not the opportunity I asked for but it is the opportunity I have been given.Now, how do I make the most of it?
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My growing birthday wish list:
- new bike
- pool membership
- health club membership
- new bike helmet
- SISU coffee mug

I'm selfish. I know. Very materialistic. I just like getting stuff.
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I just finished reading American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis. Very disturbing. I know it's a social commentary on the materialism of the 1980's. I get that. It was a horribly violent, bloody, and sadistic read. I cannot recommend this book with confidence that you won't think I'm a sicko for suggesting that you read it...so don't.

I wonder what I'm going to make for dinner. I could grill some steaks...
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Anybody want to donate to the "GET TODD A BIKE FOR HIS BIRTHDAY" fund?

Anyone?

Hello?

(confidence is low.)
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Just so you know, writing about qualitative research is not a fun way to spend a beautiful Saturday morning in July.

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Should I try to paint the bathroom today? Once I start I can't stop until I'm done. I'm either all in or all out.

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Wouldn't be more interesting to read about running, biking or swimming? I think so too. It would be interesting to write about that stuff too.

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I had the opportunity to go to my brother-in-law's bachelor party/golf outing today. I begged off because (exact words here), "I have to be a dad." What do you think? Do I get "points" for that?

I need a goal. I need motivation. I need something to shoot for. I need a mountain to climb. I need a reason to sweat and strain and breathe and gasp and hunger and thirst. I cannot imagine giving up competing against myself. I cannot imagine quitting my endeavors to become more than I am today. I cannot comprehend abandoning my quest to find my limits. I need a goal.

So. You know what this means, right. The death of a dream? A dream deferred? Whatever you call it, it adds up to one thing: no Chicago Marathon for me.

Trying bikes

I looked at some bikes today. I tested the Giant OCR2 and OCR3 as well as the Specialized Sequoia. I kinda liked the Specialized a little bit better. It's hard to tell though with the limited time I spent on the bikes. In the next day or two I'm going to test the Trek 1000. The Trek gets fantastic reviews all over the internet so I'm hoping that I like that one the best. Then it's the waiting game. Both for the bone scan results and for the birthday fairy to show up (if she does at all).

I wanna know now.

So, baseball season is over. In the end the boys improved from the beginning until the end. The season was summed up by the infectious grin of an 8 year old playing third base today who happened to stab a line drive out of mid air. It was a great play. It was an OK season. Even though I said I wouldn't, I'm gonna coach again next year. How could I not?
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Waiting...waiting...waiting....

My bone scan is scheduled for Tuesday. I hope I have the results by Friday. I hope.

In the meantime, I have asked for a new bike for my birthday. I doubt I'll get one. Even low-end road bikes run about $700, or so, and I don't think we have that in the birthday budget this year.

Dang it.

Another one in the books

I put in 7 miles at LSD pace this evening. I never run at night. It was...odd. It was also much more difficult than I had expected. And now I am sore on the left (shin), on the right (knee), and right down the middle (groin). I have no idea what's going on.

I thought about what I would write as I ran (the simple beauty of a farmers field laying fallow for the season, purple tinged clouds racing me to my doorway, maples dancing in the breeze as stoic evergreens stood at attention, the utter size of the sky) but I can't seem to remember any pearls of wisdom that I might have gleaned from this late night run. Maybe next time.

Miles toward Chicago - 25.

A simple request...

Dearest Friend(s) and Family -

I really want you to know that I welcome all comments. You do NOT have to sign up or buy anything. I don't even have anything for sale. I will accept donations, of course. For what? For me. But, I digress. Please leave a friendly note or comment just to let me know that you stopped by, or want to correct my grammar, or think I'm crazy to want to run a marathon, or even to tell me that I shouldn't talk abut "such things" (what things? just wait!) on the internet. Um, it would just be really nice to know that somebody is popping in from time to time.

Warmest regards -

todd

Sweet Misery

The plan called for a three mile pace run today. Easy, right? I thought so too. I cannot tell you how many three mile runs I have completed over the years. Three miles easy. Three miles fast. Three miles sore. Three miles on the ice and in the snow. Three miles.

My first steps out of the driveway were stiff and awkward. Halfway up the hill, and halfway to my first turn, I passed some grounds keepers for the golf course that I live near. They watched me with what I perceived to be sympathetic eyes chosen to hide derision.

"What the hell is he doing," I imagined one of them saying as I lumbered past them.

The seemingly endless first mile...ended. I was 26 seconds off my pace. Not too shabby. I didn't feel good yet, however. I usually start to feel good at about this point in a run. Not today.

My friend Schuey told me before the race in Traverse City that every race, and sometimes in a training run, there comes a time when a runner has to defeat his mind and let his body take over (or something like that...he swore a lot too.) That point happened today at the 1.46 mile point of this three mile run. I neared the halfway point and I was struggling. I told myself I couldn't do it. Not today. I was just gonna run easy and call it good. Almost immediately, I told myself to shut up and run and simply concentrated on getting to the top of the gentle slope I was climbing at the time. I got angry with myself. I ran.

During the last three quarters of a mile the grounds crew I had passed earlier was riding toward me on golf carts. I passed each cart with a wave and glanced, pleased, at my Garmin which suggested that I was running at an 8:30 pace, if just for the moment. This time I didn't give a rat's behind what they thought of me.

I knew that I had to finish in under 30 minutes to hit my pace goal for the day. I chugged down the homestretch, hit stop on the Garmin, and was pleased to see that I had completed 3.08 miles in 30:35 (9:56 per mile). Honestly, I wish had finished closer to 9:30 than I did, still I was right where I needed to be.

Running slowly...

is difficult.

I have been struggling to hit my easy day paces. I get warmed up and I want to GO. Ya know?

Today: 3.07 miles in 36:23

Mile 1 - 11:51
Mile 2 - 11:59
Mile 3 - 11:41

My 6 mile LSD on Saturday was run at a pace of 10:40. BOTH todays run and Saturdays run were faster than McMillan suggests. Oh well. I'm gonna stick with trying to hit the suggested paces and hopefully get to the race happier and healthier than if I try to push too hard too soon and end up calling myself "Mr. Injury" again. I'm not sure, but I think there will be marathons next year too. I can step it up next time. Before you start chastising me for not meeting my potential, I'm still likely to PR at these current paces. OK?
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Wife has not been running. She has brand new running shoes, unopened, sitting under the bed. I'm gonna guess that she will run before summer ends and she'll be joining me on the course at Bayshore next spring.

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Total miles toward Chicago - 15

In the beginning...

So, here we go. Marathon training again. I was afraid to get out of bed this morning. Not lazy. Not tired. Afraid.

"What we have is based upon moment-to-moment choices of what we do. In each of those moments, we choose."

I stayed in bed I wouldn't run. If I didn't run then I couldn't be crushed by disappointment if injury rears its ugly head again. If I chose to sleep for another hour I could always run later...but when?

"We either take a risk and move toward what we want, or we play it safe and choose comfort."

I could hear rain drumming off the bedroom window. The streets would be wet. It would be more difficult for traffic to see me even though I wear a reflective vest. I wondered about the temperature. Being wet is bad. Being cold and wet is worse.

"Most of the people, most of the time, choose comfort."

I reached for my glasses and rolled out of bed. I thought, "I could stay in bed, and nobody would care. But, I would still know." That was all it took. I dressed for my run.

"In the end, people either have excuses or experiences; reasons or results; buts or brilliance."

I walked to the end of my driveway, hit start on my Garmin, and began an awkwardly slow shuffle toward the country road beyond my neighborhood drive. The rain had turned mostly to mist but dark clouds were piling ominously on the western horizon. Marathon training had begun.

"They either have what they wanted or they have a detailed list of all the rational reasons why not."

I had no foot pain. There was no knee pain. There were only footfalls, puddle splashes, and bird songs. I ran easy. I ran comfortably. I felt my body wake to the morning, happy to be moving. The air smelled more of spring than the nascency of summer. Dark skies had turned to heavily overcast gray by the time I returned to my green roofed house at the end of a cul-de-sac and this morning I had what I wanted. I was marathon training again.
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Mile 1 - 12:31
Mile 2 - 10:08
Mile 3 - 9:56

McMillan suggest that an easy run for me should be between 12:01 and 12:31 per mile. Ugh. That's really slow for me. Is there really value to that? I don't want to take that much time running 3-5 miles. My long run pace is sane (11:01-11:31). I get that. My suggested tempo pace is 9:34-9:59. Remember Bayshore? Most of miles were right there. I comfortable with that too.

My daughter runs too. I am so darn proud of her. And the boy plays hockey. I'll have to dig up some pics of the other two.

I'm back

Training for the Chicago Marathon begins this week. Since I last posted to this blog I have:
-resumed running
-completed a 25k (15.5 miles)
-set a PR at a 1/2 marathon

Not bad.

I want to run Chicago because:
-it's hard
-I want to do better than last time
-I want to prove to myself that the first time wasn't a fluke
-I won;t run without a goal and I like BIG goals

I've been thinking about sandbags lately. I'll write more about this later.