Saturday, August 25, 2007

Be careful what you ask for

It's official. I'm in. I have been admitted to the doctoral program to which I applied.

Crap.

Now what?

Well, to begin with, when I start something I finish it. But, I suspect this is going to be a great deal more than I had bargained.

Fine.

So be it.

Bring it on.

I'm ready to leave my mark.

Monday, August 20, 2007

You have to read this

My favorite triathlete just totally kicked some major triathlon butt this weekend. She rocked. She rolled. She swam, biked, and ran to TWO awesome PR's!

Check out her race reports here.

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Confessions

Thanks Marsha. You flatter me.
_______________________________

I’ve been running. I like how it’s going. Each run is a little bit different. Noticeably different. That’s good. I like how sometimes I’m faster and sometimes I just cruise and can’t stop watching the clouds. Sometimes I get lost in the music I listen to while I run.

Then there’s my bike.

I haven’t gone for a real ride since my tri back in July. I don’t feel inspired to either. The bike just sits there, rusting. The tires need air.

The book looks at me and then turns it’s shoulder to me as if to say, “Not today. I’m tired.”

Maybe it’s me though.

I haven’t gone for a swim since my tri. I am least proud of my swim during that triathlon than anything I’ve ever done athletically. If I go back to that pool the regulars are gonna want to know how I did.

They’ll think I’m just being humble.

I need to cross train. Running three days a week is NOT getting it done for me. I feel my body wanting to do more.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

I did it.

I have officially completed and submitted my application to begin my EdD in Education with an emphasis in Teacher Leadership.

Holy cow!

I thought you had to be smart to get a doctorate thingy...

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

He sat in front of the computer monitor tapping earnestly away at the keyboard. He stopped to sip his drink and to survey what he had written already. He notice a split infinitive and a couple of passive sentences that would need to be rewritten but decided to push on and get his thoughts on the virtual paper his screen offered him.

The television kept him company in the background as his children dreamed, comfortable in their air-conditioned bedrooms. An itch on his forearm distracted him from his thoughts. Scratching without really paying attention he wondered if the words he put down would have the necessary effect. He wondered if the words, like most of his sketches scattered on the floor behind him, would find the recycle bin before anyone could appraise them.

“Probably, “ he mumbled to himself.

Continuing to type, he tried his very best to ignore the rumble in his belly. Noticing his drink was empty, he considered a break to refill and refresh and remembered that his wife had baked chocolate chip cookies that afternoon. Temptation was strong and his willpower was weak when he worked at his computer. Bad habits are the hardest to break.

He rose stiffly from his workstation and wished that he had taken the time stretch after his early evening bike ride. Though he rarely took the time to stretch, he always wished that he did. Promising himself that he would remember after his morning three mile run he climbed the stairs from his basement office and entered the kitchen to find a cookie and refill his drink.

The guitar in the corner of his office beckoned him as he returned and he abandoned the thought continuing to write for awhile. He strummed a few chords to awaken his fingers to the joy of caressing the strings. Choosing a simple three-chord ditty, he sang a bit. He always sang the song when guests would ask him to play something and although he had played it more times than he could remember he never tired of it.

“Three chords and the truth, “ he thought, “That’s all it takes to write a great song.”

He flipped open the plain manila folder that held the music and chord charts to the songs he was trying to memorize. He glanced at a few, and played the opening bars to a few others but didn’t feel particularly inspired to continue any of them. Placing the folder on his guitar case, he pulled out a folder with a torn edge and an Aerosmith sticker on the front. This folder was special; it held the songs he had written himself.

The song was on top. Written years ago, the song was a gift he had never summoned the courage to give. Now it was just a sad memory in a beat up folder. He sang the song. As he sang he could almost smell the stale beer in the college apartment where he wrote it. Thinking back on those carefree summer days, he marvelled at what had become of the last 20 years.

Letting the final strains of the song fade into the summer night, he put his guitar away. After saving his work still glowing on the monitor on his desk, he climbed the stairs again. Finding the lights all turned off he gazed out and up through the kitchen window. Stars blanketed the night sky. The clear night sky always made him feel small.

He turned away from the window and made his way to the bedroom. It was time for sleep. He had to run in the morning.

Monday, August 13, 2007

A very nice weekend

It was a very nice and relaxing weekend. My wife was very surprised and suitably impressed with the bed and breakfast. After we dropped off the kids we stopped at a winery in New Buffalo. Cranberry wine? It will be perfect for Thanksgiving...if it lasts long enough! We checked in on Friday and then we hunted down an Italian restaurant and enjoyed some of the best calamari we've had in a long time. The roasted pepper soup was outstanding as well. Saturday found us lazily wandering south to Valparaiso and some antique shopping. My wife found a dress in a boutique for her brother's October wedding and we stumbled on a Spanish bistro and enjoyed a large plate of tapas for lunch along with a bowl of pinto bean soup. After visiting another winery and discovering a Rhubarb wine we both enjoyed we head back to the inn for a nap before dinner. We decided upon Thai food and Cold Stone Creamery for dessert. We stopped in Michigan City so my wife could buy some shoes to go with her new dress as we headed north to rescue my parents from their grand kids.

Running....

Saturday morning before a breakfast of praline/pecan french toast with sauteed peaches I ran four one mile laps around lake Palomara. Three quarters of the run was along a shaded path along the western and southern shore of the lake. Deer and raccoon tracks were everywhere. Gold finches and a female cardinal tracked my progress. Though not one of the fastest, it was one of the most enjoyable runs I've ever had.

This morning found me running my home three mile route again. It was a dry and cool 65 degrees when I hit the road. Nice. I picked up the pace a bit today...just because I felt like it. I think I may never do anything other than a novice training plan. I really like "just running" and not having to shoot for any pace if I don't want to.

Anyway.

After all of that it's very good to be back even though the beginning of the school year is staring me right in the face.

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Half Marathon Training

I've decided not to do the September 1st sprint tri. I'm really not feeling very excited about that race. It will be there next year. So, instead, I'm going to focus my efforts on the half marathon that was going to be a marathon for me before I got the stress fracture back in March. I love running more than swimming or biking anyway. I'm not sure I'll ever love swimming.

________________________________________

I woke up to hear rain driving against the bedroom window as thunder rumbled low and angry in the distance...sigh. No swim today. The pool always closes when there's thunder and lightening. I hope I can sneak in a bike ride later today. If I've learned anything from my stress fractures it's that running on consecutive days is BAD for me. BAD.

Saturday, August 4, 2007

Crisis of Confidence

I'm working on my application to begin my doctorate. That's not true. I'm procrastinating working on my application for my doctorate. I've gone as far as requesting a couple of references, updating my resume, perusing the requirements for my statement of purpose, reading 400 pages of Harry Potter, downloading a couple of songs on iTunes, reading a few blogs....

Get the idea?

The degree will be an EdD(Doctor of Education)rather than a research based PhD I think it will have more practical application for me. It definitely will if I become any more deeply involved in the Association work that I've done for the past couple of years.

What's the problem?

I remember being a high school sophomore sitting in class listening to a presentation about study skills and college success and knowing, believing actually, that I would never graduate from college. I knew that college degrees were for smart people and I was an average to below average high school student. Truly... I was bored. I never really tried very hard. Why would I need to? I wasn't going to go to college.

I went to college.

I passed classes. I failed classes. I retook those classes. Somehow I graduated. I had a Bachelors degree in public relations.

Years passed. I decided to go back to school and concurrently pursue my teacher certification and a Masters degree. I was scared to death that somebody would find out that I wasn't smart enough to earn a Masters degree so I worked my butt off and got a 4.0 in every class. I think everybody gets a 4.0 in their grad classes though, right?

Now I'm staring at this application. I see the official looking crest and the letterhead. I scan the proposed sequence of course work and the suggestion of hours per week to be successful. There's no way I'll be accepted.

What if that happens?

Will I be so disappointed that I give up the goal? Will I accept that as proof of what I suspected all along? Will I find another way? Maybe I'll just get another Masters degree.

What if I'm accepted?

That could be worse couldn't it? Just think of all of the writing and the reading and the quantitative and qualitative research. When will I grade papers? When will I play with my kids? When will I take my wife out to dinner? What if they find out I'm not good enough. What if I find out I'm not good enough?

Will making the effort have been enough?

Thursday, August 2, 2007

I an't done nothin'

Nothing.

Nothing.

Nothing.

That how much exercise I've had since last Monday. Monday July 23.

I think it was Monday.

It might have Tuesday.

Yes. I've been traveling/vacationing/conferencing.

I dreamed I was doing another triathlon last night. I was so far behind on the swim that I just gave up. I quit.

Is this what happens after two weeks of nothing?
______________________

I returned from the conference I've been at these past few days. I have SO MUCH work to do now. The STATE of MICHIGAN has decided what my curricullum will be. I think that's great. Now I get to completely change everything so that in couple of years when they revamp the state standards I can change everything again. I'm so glad we have a government. Now I don't have to think. I only have to do what I'm told.